Astrological aspects that make you bad at college

PHOTO COURTESY OF STUDYBREAKS.COM  Your astrological chart explains why getting homework done is so hard.


Your astrological chart explains why getting homework done is so hard.

Jackie Richardson ’21 | Editor-in-Chief

Astrology aspects messing up your schoolwork

It’s here again. The part of the semester where things get hard. Syllabi, once sheets of paper you collected while glibly sampling classes, have turned into lists of assignments you actually have to complete. The vague mass of students that once gathered before the professor has started to spot into individuals, some remembered for insights whose brilliance is matched only by their easy eloquence and others (you, possibly, if you’re reading this) who, while fumbling to say something after not doing the reading, watch their professor’s face fall as they regret, for a moment, not trying harder to get hired at a large research university where they could have handed you off to a grad student. Speaking of you, there you are, in your dorm room, struggling not to procrastinate as the list of things you have to do grows longer and longer. Please, your common sense begs: “Do your SWG reading.” And that was when you started season five of “The Great British Baking Show.”

Well, I’m here to tell you that your procrastination is not your fault. It’s the planets’ fault — specifically where they were in space when you were born. Below are five natal aspects that mess with people’s academics; look at your chart and see if you have them.

  1. Venus square Jupiter

    Rewarding yourself while studying can be an effective way to complete a task, but a person with Venus squaring Jupiter in their birth chart will take this too far. After doing one problem in a long set whose due date is just far away enough to convince themselves not to worry about it, someone with Venus square Jupiter in their birth chart will indulge in their vice of choice, whether that be Netflix binges, parties, food or alcohol. This is because Jupiter is the planet of excess, and when negatively aspecting Venus, the planet of love, pleasure and food, they can crave all these things — and dislike anything that takes time, effort and work. If you have this aspect, give yourself a set amount of time to complete a task and work somewhere without distractions. Make time to have fun, but only after you finish everything you need to do!

  2. Saturn square Neptune

    People often read this aspect as Saturn — the planet of discipline and responsibility — restricting the areas of life Neptune rules, such as dreams and spirituality. But Neptune, the watery planet which also rules illusions, can also warp a person’s view of their responsibilities when negatively aspecting Saturn. Someone with Saturn squaring Neptune in their birth chart will have a difficult time knowing how much they can handle. For example, failing to understand what a job entails might lead them to volunteer to do it only to see afterwards that it was too much for them. Or, while working on a long-term project, they might forget a crucial step and realize later, when it’s too late, that they forgot to do it. If you have this aspect in your birth chart, make sure you keep an agenda and write down everything you need to do step by step.

  3. Mercury square Uranus

    This aspect can help and hurt you. On one hand, any interaction between Mercury, the planet ruling mental processes, and Uranus, the planet ruling innovation, in a birth chart creates an original thinker. On the other hand, this aspect can also keep someone from doing everything they need to do. For example, someone with this aspect might get excited about one project and devote all their time to it, neglecting their other assignments and responsibilities. If you have this aspect, set aside a block of time to do what you feel passionate about — and then, when it’s over, work on your other assignments.

  4. Mercury square Saturn

    A person whose Mercury squares their Saturn in their birth chart has almost the opposite problem as someone with Mercury squaring Uranus in their birth chart. Not that someone with this aspect can’t be a creative thinker, but Saturn, the restrictive planet (which, again, rules responsibilities), can keep someone from being fully engaged in whatever they’re doing that moment. For example, if someone with this aspect has to read a novel for a class, they might, while turning the pages, be worrying about a problem set they haven’t done, so that when they finish the reading, they can’t remember what it is they read. If you have this aspect, try to remember that in order to do something well, you can’t do it distractedly — you have to give it your full attention.

  5. Sun opposition Jupiter

    In a person’s birth chart, the Sun rules a person’s self. Jupiter rules, among other things, higher education. When a person’s Sun opposes their Jupiter, it can seem like their personal desires and the demands of their education are constantly at cross-purposes. Someone with this aspect in their birth chart may not be studying something they’re passionate about, and so when it comes time to do an assignment, they simply neglect it. Moreover, unlike the square aspect, which brings difficult situations into a person’s life, the opposition aspect can bring difficult people into a person’s life — so a person with this aspect may have problems with other students and professors! If you have this aspect, make sure your education aligns with your values and make sure to try to get along with others.

Sophian Smith